If you are trying to give up smoking then getting help from an expert would appear to be a sensible move. It is however very dependant upon whom you go to for advice. There is a plethora of stop smoking agencies on the Internet and available through national health organisations like the NHS who would appear at first to have your best interests at heart plugging away with NRT or champix or zyban... just more drugs. Why Support groups don't help!
While these groups do provide sympathy and understanding they do generally not greatly increase the percentages of success amongst people who want to give up smoking. It’s true that many of them are organised by former smokers but statistics point to the fact that the group therapy route isn’t as effective as it could be. I believe there is one main reason for this.
People who try to give up smoking using group therapy have usually already exhausted all the choices they have as individuals in terms of ways to give up smoking on their own. This is obvious as they are now at the group stage. They are then confronted by a number of other people who are trying to give up smoking who are suffering from the same problem and/or a mentor who is 'experienced' in dealing with this type of issue.
The one important thing that is often overlooked is that people who are trying to give up smoking are learning nothing from people who are trying to give up smoking! There is a strong tendency to 'compare notes' with sufferers of the same lack of choices. The individuals in the group just become experts in having the same problem, as opposed to finding out how to make or use new choices and strategies to become a non smoker. When individuals compare notes with others suffering from the same problem, it tends to compound the problems they have. This is due to a reinforcing of beliefs. The person trying to stop smoking usually believes that it will be hard to do. (A commonly held notion partly fuelled by the government and partly fuelled by the tobacco manufacturers). When this notion is backed up by others of the same ilk, it tends to reinforce that belief by strengthening the neural pathways to that belief in the brain. I was researching a popular Internet support forum the other day and was astonished by the horrible sense of negativity amongst 'fellow sufferers'.
Of course this makes the whole issue of finding it hard to become a non-smoker, a 'self fulfilling prophecy'. I didn't see any comments from ex smokers who found it easy to stop. (Of course not, why would they be there? They found it easy and didn’t need any help.) All these poor individuals are doing is reinforcing their belief about what a sorry time they are having. And yes its 'nice' to have a shoulder to cry on, but shoulders don't teach you much. In reality shoulders used in this way become an anchor for bad feelings! For goodness sake do yourselves a favour and lighten up! The body and mind can and does function perfectly well without the horrible cigarette and nicotine poisons.
Stop telling yourself that , "you’re going up the wall" or "I really need a cigarette" or all the hundreds of negative self pitying internal suggestions that you are delivering. Nothing is going to 'happen to you' if you quit smoking. (Apart from you becoming very much healthier, having more spare cash, extending your life etc. etc) Allow the part of you that is able to stand on its own two feet, to actually do just that, without needing something to act as 'An old friend' to look after you.
And as for this old friend, have you ever had a friend who you thought was the bees knees that you really got on well with? Then one day you found out that they had been saying bad things about you or doing stuff which a friend wouldn't do. Supposing this so called friend was slipping cancer forming poisons into your food, telling your family that you really stink, stealing your money, saying that you couldn't cope without them and that you were weak willed with no back bone. How much would you want to have them as a friend? Have you ever had a friend like that?
As far as I am aware there are no support groups run by smokers who found it easy to stop. This is a great shame as there are thousands of people who really did find it easy to give up smoking. This Begs the question: How did these people find it easy to give up smoking? The reason they found it easy is because they believed it would be. I know this is the case as I have experience from both sides of the fence. Being an ex 45 a day smoker. My Father gave up a similar habit easily and his wife (My step mother) gave up easily as well. I found giving up very hard at first until I discovered (years later while researching new ways) how my folks actually gave up and what they were thinking when they gave up smoking. Unfortunately many people, me included, tended to blank out what their parents said. If only I’d really listened way back then, it would have been so much easier to quit. I see hundreds of clients for smoking cessation therapy, and the more I see the more convinced I am about why they have found it so hard, even though I now know it is easy. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate that they are finding giving up smoking hard, but it is clear to me why they are having this experience. If you are trying to give up smoking it would be immensely valuable for you to contact any of your friends who managed to quit smoking easily without any help, and ask them how they did it and what they believed would happen to them. Listen to what they say and start to structure your own internal dialogue in a different way.
Unfortunately this may sound ridiculous if you already have a belief system that says that it is hard to give up smoking. This is where a little tweaking can come in handy. In the useful booklet available as part of the 1-2-Free system there are some really cool tips and exercises that really do help with this. If you could change this belief in some way so as to destabilize its influence over your decision making, with regards to stopping smoking, then you will find stopping smoking much easier. Changing beliefs is a key way to accomplish change. In his book "Using your Brain for a Change" Richard Bandler gives some extremely useful exercises to help change beliefs which work very effectively. All you really need to know is that if you change your belief, that it's hard to stop smoking, into a belief that it's easy, then your experience of becoming a non smoker will be much easier. Because as I said before it really is easy if you learn how to do it, thousands upon thousands have found this to be the case. None of them however go to support groups of forums. It's easy to change a belief; do you still believe in Santa? Most children below the age of six really do believe. Get out of yourself; stop hanging around people who don’t know how to give up smoking and really be one of the thousands who know that it was easy. There really is nothing different about them, they have the same physiology and bio mechanical make up. All they do different is they ‘know that they can stop’, and knowing this and believing this is easy, because it’s true!! Everything else is just excuses!
Stop telling yourself that , "you’re going up the wall" or "I really need a cigarette" or all the hundreds of negative self pitying internal suggestions that you are delivering. Nothing is going to 'happen to you' if you quit smoking. (Apart from you becoming very much healthier, having more spare cash, extending your life etc. etc) Allow the part of you that is able to stand on its own two feet, to actually do just that, without needing something to act as 'An old friend' to look after you.
And as for this old friend, have you ever had a friend who you thought was the bees knees that you really got on well with? Then one day you found out that they had been saying bad things about you or doing stuff which a friend wouldn't do. Supposing this so called friend was slipping cancer forming poisons into your food, telling your family that you really stink, stealing your money, saying that you couldn't cope without them and that you were weak willed with no back bone. How much would you want to have them as a friend? Have you ever had a friend like that?
As far as I am aware there are no support groups run by smokers who found it easy to stop. This is a great shame as there are thousands of people who really did find it easy to give up smoking. This Begs the question: How did these people find it easy to give up smoking? The reason they found it easy is because they believed it would be. I know this is the case as I have experience from both sides of the fence. Being an ex 45 a day smoker. My Father gave up a similar habit easily and his wife (My step mother) gave up easily as well. I found giving up very hard at first until I discovered (years later while researching new ways) how my folks actually gave up and what they were thinking when they gave up smoking. Unfortunately many people, me included, tended to blank out what their parents said. If only I’d really listened way back then, it would have been so much easier to quit. I see hundreds of clients for smoking cessation therapy, and the more I see the more convinced I am about why they have found it so hard, even though I now know it is easy. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate that they are finding giving up smoking hard, but it is clear to me why they are having this experience. If you are trying to give up smoking it would be immensely valuable for you to contact any of your friends who managed to quit smoking easily without any help, and ask them how they did it and what they believed would happen to them. Listen to what they say and start to structure your own internal dialogue in a different way.
Unfortunately this may sound ridiculous if you already have a belief system that says that it is hard to give up smoking. This is where a little tweaking can come in handy. In the useful booklet available as part of the 1-2-Free system there are some really cool tips and exercises that really do help with this. If you could change this belief in some way so as to destabilize its influence over your decision making, with regards to stopping smoking, then you will find stopping smoking much easier. Changing beliefs is a key way to accomplish change. In his book "Using your Brain for a Change" Richard Bandler gives some extremely useful exercises to help change beliefs which work very effectively. All you really need to know is that if you change your belief, that it's hard to stop smoking, into a belief that it's easy, then your experience of becoming a non smoker will be much easier. Because as I said before it really is easy if you learn how to do it, thousands upon thousands have found this to be the case. None of them however go to support groups of forums. It's easy to change a belief; do you still believe in Santa? Most children below the age of six really do believe. Get out of yourself; stop hanging around people who don’t know how to give up smoking and really be one of the thousands who know that it was easy. There really is nothing different about them, they have the same physiology and bio mechanical make up. All they do different is they ‘know that they can stop’, and knowing this and believing this is easy, because it’s true!! Everything else is just excuses!
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